I decided to ask her again. One more time, one last time.
I waited for her college to get over. After about an hour, the college was over and the students came out.
Finally, I spotted her, she was with her friends as usual. I hated her friends and they hated me equally. They looked down at me, they considered me to be a local gangster, one of the useless guys roaming about the streets. I was nothing to them, below their standards and they were right.
I was jobless and I roamed around the area with my gang collecting hafta(money) from the big real estate guys and the businessmen. Later at night we spent the money on alcohol and gambling. My gang was actually under the control of a big Don who controlled the majority of the underworld of the city, we were his top men and we did all the dirty work and also paid the highest. Till now I didn’t have a problem with my life. I enjoyed every second of it.
I was jailed five times for murder, illegal extortion and physical attack on a public officer but my boss managed to get me out always. So I wasn’t scared of anyone as long as my boss had his hand on my head.
I first say Julie just a couple of weeks before and I knew I wanted to marry her the minute I saw her. There was no other way.
She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. I have had a lot of girls, women who have come and gone but Julie, she was like no other. She was delicate, slender and much higher than my standard. And that is why it was difficult to get her. I liked the challenge. What is the fun in getting a girl of your dreams without fighting for her?
I had tried many times, and I had decided it would be my last. I was frustrated. I was desperate for her to accept my proposal today, otherwise……. I don’t know what I might do.
I stood near her car, and she saw me as she approached.
She was laughing with her friends but as soon as she saw me, her expressions changed. She became serious.
All of her friend also stared at me. They all stated at me like I was some criminal, which I was but I didn’t harm any of them.
She asked them to wait there and walked to me.
She was looking good in her pink salwar. She didn’t have a dupatta and her breast were pushed up, slightly revealing her cleavage.
“What do you want” she asked as she folded her arms across her breasts.
I smiled and before I could say a word.
“I told you, I am not interested in a useless guy like you. Stop following me. Please…. Please” she shouted.
I was really disappointed with her reaction. Her friends, all the students were looking at me. Some of the boys were laughing among themselves. It was humiliating. Even though I was a gangster with so much power, I felt insulted and useless. I wanted to smash every one of their heads but I controlled myself. I wanted Julie badly.
“Listen……. just. I know I am not the person you want to be with but I love you more than anyone else. There will be no other person who can love you more than me. I will take care of you till my last breath.”
“You know what, you are not understanding me. Maybe you will leave the underworld for me, maybe you love me more than anyone else. But I don’t want you. I don’t love you. I…. hate you. I hate people like you.”
I kept quiet. I had got my answer. She would never ever accept me.
“If it was my wish, I would want you dead” she said.
She turned and was ready to leave.
“Yeah you are right”
She turned to look at me.
“Yes, I should be dead. But now I am alive and I can do what I want.”
I took out my pistol and pointed at her head.
“I never wanted you dead, but I can’t see you alive with another man. Now, you have a choice to make. You can live with me or die without me” I felt powerful again. Whenever I feel helpless I always hold my pistol. It gives me everything I want. It gives me unlimited power.
Her eyes widened. She was shocked. All of her friends had their hands on their mouth. They moved away from the scene. The boys weren’t laughing anymore.
I looked into her yes. She was scared but also I saw courage in her.
“I rather die than live in a world filled with monsters like you” she said with a straight face.
I couldn’t believe it. Today even my pistol couldn’t do the trick.
I realized that with all my power, if I couldn’t get a girl what was the use of killing, murdering, extorting, kidnapping and all the evil things I did.
My life wasn’t worth living, she was right.
I put the pistol inside my mouth and without thinking I pulled the trigger.
Blood splashed across the girls face.
She walked away from the pool of blood, straight. She didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t look at her friends. She didn’t care about anyone. She was a strong independent woman and this incident everyone over there to stand their ground.